A Picture: Same Love

And I can't change

Even if I tried

Even if I wanted to

And I can't change

Even if I tried

Even if I wanted to

My love, my love, my love

She keeps me warm

She keeps me warm

She keeps me warm

She keeps me warm

Chorus from Same Love by Macklemore and Ryan Lewis

I love that song. I love it because I believe, as they believe, that people are born predisposed to certain spaces across the sexuality spectrum. Spectrum may be way too linear, so maybe it’s more like a sexuality jumble. Regardless, I was born heterosexual and have never had any real physical attraction to men. And while that has been easier, it doesn’t make people like me any more normal than anyone else. As a teacher of adolescents, I have seen too many young people fight with themselves to be perceived and accepted as “our” version of normal. When it comes to sexuality, what’s normal? Today we have ten different versions of normal.

Please Enjoy

Pablo, Heterosexual

For me, this means being lucky. Lucky in a sense that I know I will never be the focus of jokes, derogatory comments, looks, etc. When I was dating women, I was lucky because I knew that I did not have to be extra cautious and that most women would be attracted to men. I am lucky because pretty much every character on movies, tv shows and media represents me and I do not feel left out. I am also lucky to have met in my life people with different orientations that have allowed me to learn from them and their realities.

Drew, Heterosexual

To me growing up a heterosexual male I always put women on a pedestal and tried to impress them through sports and humor. My fiance even swooned at the sight of my “hops” during our introduction at pickup basketball. I’ve never had any time where I have questioned my sexuality, but I’ve also never been in an open or inviting environment that supported such discovery. Every sports team I’ve been on has been dominated by hyper-masculinity and anyone who didn’t fit this mold was outcasted. Locker rooms were a sad and volatile space where hypermasculinity took the floor and wiped it with homophobic slurs.

Kara, Heterosexual

It took my chemistry partner’s dad marrying a man to teach me that “marriage” didn’t have to equal “straight.” While my small-town roots kept me uninformed, my college experience opened my eyes to the broadness of sexuality. As a proud friend and family member of many people in the LGBTQIA+ community, I don’t take the privilege I have to be in a heterosexual relationship for granted. While I call myself straight, I think there’s a spectrum that I myself have moved around on, learning about the fluidity and acceptance-process that comes with sexuality. Check out Kara’s blog: MyQuestionLife.com

Leslie, Pansexual

It’s not that I haven’t thought about my identity as a queer person, but that I don’t know what to say about it and what it means to me besides it being true. What it means to other people is what gives the fact so much weight, and it’s something I don’t think I’ll ever wrap my head around; how somebody else could hate the love between two people. At 19 I’ve just begun opening myself up to love and being loved after being frozen in fear by others 'hatred, and it just so happens I love people, unrelated to their gender.

Russel, Heterosexual

I can remember the first time I noticed my attraction to the opposite sex. I was about 4 or 5 years old and when my best friend's cousin came around my hands would sweat and sentences came out wrong. I can say I love everything about a woman.When I first saw my wife I thought she was the most beautiful woman I had seen. I love the fact that she is a natural woman and not pressured by society to change who she is or how she looks. As a heterosexual male she makes me feel complete.

Meg, Lesbian

I came out at the age of 22. It didn’t take me that long because I was scared of what people think, or I was scared of how my family would react. It took me that long because I honestly didn’t have enough exposure to feel aligned with it. When I moved out of my small town, I started becoming more exposed. The more exposure I got, the more I knew how right it felt to come out when I did. I know others would have their judgments, but being fully out, I’ve never felt more comfortable with who I am, and who I love.

Talibah, Heterosexual

This question has been one I’ve struggled to answer for a while. I spent a few years identifying as bisexual because I have expressed attraction for both women and men. After careful consideration of my encounters with both genders however, I see how I am more strongly attracted to men. My attraction for women is purely physical while I experience both physical and romantic attractions for men. Being heterosexual comes with great privilege, especially in black/Caribbean culture as homosexuality is openly punished (especially for men). Opposed to men I also acknowledge the safety I have in exploring my sexuality.

Dolph, Heterosexual

I have been attracted to females since I can remember feelings of attraction, and it has always been an “is,” and it has always been “okay.” In life, I have been lucky to engage, work, and live, with people whose sexuality hasn’t always been “okay” with the powers that be. Some of them have been amazing friends and colleagues, others less likable; just like heteros. One of my truest friends is gay; he’s an amazing soul who deserves to love and be loved fully. I hurt when he wasn’t out, because despite my life’s struggles, I’ve never had to “un-affirm” myself.

Melissa, Heterosexual

Growing up in the Bay area, I was exposed to diverse sexualities early on. I went to my first Pride Parade in high school. On my athletic teams, I realized my place of privilege as a heterosexual. I didn’t have to worry if I wanted to hold my partner’s hand in town, kiss them in public, or even get married -- but my teammates did. I have my teammates to thank for reminding me that love comes in all forms, and everyone deserves that love. As a straight person, it’s my duty to stand in front of them and fight on the front lines.

Jonny, Heterosexual

My sexuality as a straight man has always been accepted and seen as the “norm” by society. There is a clear connection between people's sexualities and people's insecurities. While my sexuality was never something I struggled with, there is still pressure I feel to affirm my sexuality. I think a lot of people feel this pressure, and out of fear of being labeled as an other, people use homophobic and hateful language. With sexuality being a spectrum, it probably scares people to think about where exactly on the spectrum they fall, resulting in hateful language as an attempt to make sexuality more binary.


189 views0 comments

Recent Posts

See All